I decided to take a break from this blog back in October. No, that's not true. I didn't decide, but rather I sensed that God wanted me to take a break from the ole' weblog for a time. Does that sound a little egocentric? That God was talking to me about my blog? Or does it just sound wacky? That I was hearing God talk at all? Well, first I will say that there was some ego involved, because I didn't want to stop blogging after just getting started. And remember I said that I "sensed" that God wanted me to lay off for awhile. We have all sensed that we needed to do this or that at one time or another. I happen to believe that God can and will communicate with us if we will learn to listen. So yes, I surmised that God was talking to me about my blog. If this hearing from God part bothers you, I guess you might as well move on or get used to it. Or you might try listening a bit more. Either way that's who I am. It took me this long to get as wacky as I am and I'm only going to get worse as time goes on.
When I started blogging it was because I felt the need to add my "two cents worth" to the blogosphere. In fact while I'm being egocentric, let me quote myself from six months ago:
June 29, 2006:
One reason I was prompted to start a web log (well, one of several) was I noticed that many of the blogs I read were by folks who seemed to hold a different world view from the one I hold. Now some blogs were really good and even down right hilarious, but beyond the humor there was a vast difference in core beliefs...What I mean is whether "religion" is good or bad. Is God good or bad? Is there a God? Other blogs...left me sad and depressed. I think because the blogger seemed to be sad and depressed. I know we all have felt this way at one time or another, and people tend to journal, express emotions, listen to sad music, talk to friends, or blog when they are dealing with these oppressive feelings. What bothers me is the "numbers" of these bloggers who describe themselves as atheists, agnostics, or people who want to be free from the restraints of religion. (Actually being free from religion is a good and proper goal in my book. As one of my mentors says, "it's not about religion, it's about relationship.") Anyway, I realize that's life. That's people. Ergo, that's blogs. Nonetheless I decided that if these humorous and sad people all felt inclined to write, then maybe it was my turn to do the same. (Perhaps I had missed the memo. My boss, Cindy, sometimes complains that I have.) If their blogs had influenced me, one of the millions, who happened to chance upon their site, then why shouldn't I be an influence on whoever chances upon my site and cares enough to linger. So I dedicate this little blog to those who made me laugh and to those who made me sigh. And then they made me think.
Those were my thoughts when I began this experiment in reaching out to the world in this new millennium. As time went by I discovered several different things about me and about blogging. For one I enjoyed being able to share my views without having anyone interrupt me before I finished my thought. In real time I'm not good at sharing my own thoughts with others though I think that I'm a pretty good listener. As a result I know many people quite well, but I have realized that few people know me. So I'm not blaming anyone else, but a blog is the place to say what you want and take as long to say it as you need. I'm hoping the skills will transfer over to real time. We will see.
One thing I've learned about blogging itself, is that it can consume all your time if you let it. If time were limitless this would be fine, but obviously this is not the case. I admire those who produce the quality blogs that I have come across and still live quality lives, but I'm having a hard time discovering how to do it. I will work on this a bit more as I go. It's part of the learning process, so I will continue to learn.
One thing that I have discovered from my 40 day fast from the weblog is that there are things which are more important to me than my blog. (Well, duh!) I don't mean that in a sarcastic way, it is just that I believe that there is so much that needs to be done in this world. I'm not saying that blogging doesn't have it's place, but I'm not sure how much of a place it deserves in my life. Once I got over the withdrawal symptoms from not blogging, I really didn't want to come back to the blog because of the time that I knew it would take from my life. It will take some more trial and error on my part.
I'm probably just over reacting to the whole thing. Many people do far more than I do, and I don't pretend that I'm called to do everything. Just because there is a need doesn't mean that I can meet it. There are 6.5 billion people here and we all have our part to play. I'm only called to the things that I "sense" God wants me to do. Thus as I originally dedicated this weblog to the people of the blogosphere, I also now dedicate it and set it apart unto God. My life is not my own, nor is this weblog.