!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> rachman-unprecedented: Despair or Purpose?


So what is this going to be? A little bit of everything I think. Maybe that's it. What I'm thinking. What I'm believing. I hope what I'm knowing. And why would anyone care what I think I know? There's no reason in the world that you should. But then why are you here? Cuz you have to be somewhere I suppose. I've never been here before. I may not be back. I might get too busy to care; time is short. That's fine. Nobody can deal with it all at once. There is a lot to deal with.

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Location: The Great Plains, United States

I try not to take myself too seriously, but I know I have far too much. So I'm trying to learn how to laugh again, as I had forgotted for a while there. Also I'm relearning to enjoy life; you know, like when we were kids. The biggest challenge ahead is learning how to love God with all my heart, and soul, and mind, and strength. This one is not really that hard when you know the truth. But along with it comes learning to love others as I love myself, and that one is, as they say, "a horse of a whole different color." I think I need to learn to love myself a little more, but the problem may be that I know all these facts about me. Sometimes the facts are simply wrong or they are just stuck in the past. I'm trying to get my facts to line up with the truth. As someone once asked a great man, "what is truth?" If he had only known.

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Sunday, September 09, 2007

Despair or Purpose?

Do you ever despair because you have no purpose? It's been said that despair is a cheap excuse for avoiding one’s purpose in life. Well excuse me. This same source then says that a sense of purpose is the best way to avoid despair.
Fine. I'll look for purpose. Let's see...today someone gave me this advice. "What we do today affects tomorrow." That means that what we do today matters. It counts. Great! I was counting on sloughing off the day. Now my whole future rests on what I decide to do with this day. Coprolite! I was planning on taking a nap.
Back to looking for purpose? Well...uh...I know. I really like September. It is the beginning of change this time of year. One season turning into another. The expectation that comes with the new crispness in the air. After a time of rest and rejuvenation through the heat of summer, now it's time for a brand new opportunity ahead. HA! I feel nauseated. Okay, let's be honest. I'm getting a little cynical. I went for the second interview for my "dream job" last week and this week I got the e-mail saying "thanks, but no thanks." I've let myself get a little bummed out. All right, I admit that it might not have been "the" dream job, but I thought of it as the job that occurs during the non-rapid eye movement sleep which usually comes right before the REM sleep of most dreams. Anyway it's time to start over.
There is a place where I can prosper and have a purpose. Finding it is another thing. But then I have found a lost contact in some of the most unexpected places. Usually after a decision that I was not going to quick looking just because it seemed hopeless. I guess I have decided what to do with tomorrow. I will not sleep till noon as originally planned. Quit despairing; back to the pursuit of purpose.
~ rachman


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