rachman-unprecedented

So what is this going to be? A little bit of everything I think. Maybe that's it. What I'm thinking. What I'm believing. I hope what I'm knowing. And why would anyone care what I think I know? There's no reason in the world that you should. But then why are you here? Cuz you have to be somewhere I suppose. I've never been here before. I may not be back. I might get too busy to care; time is short. That's fine. Nobody can deal with it all at once. There is a lot to deal with.

: Name: rachman; Location: The Great Plains, United States

I try not to take myself too seriously, but I know I have far too much. So I'm trying to learn how to laugh again, as I had forgotted for a while there. Also I'm relearning to enjoy life; you know, like when we were kids. The biggest challenge ahead is learning how to love God with all my heart, and soul, and mind, and strength. This one is not really that hard when you know the truth. But along with it comes learning to love others as I love myself, and that one is, as they say, "a horse of a whole different color." I think I need to learn to love myself a little more, but the problem may be that I know all these facts about me. Sometimes the facts are simply wrong or they are just stuck in the past. I'm trying to get my facts to line up with the truth. As someone once asked a great man, "what is truth?" If he had only known.

View my complete profile

rachman's weblog

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

It's Over Before You Know It!

Sometimes we barely get started on some new adventure, when we find that it's time to quit. I took my young nephew, or maybe he was taking me, for a ride on a big wooden roller coaster (at the time it was considered one of the biggest in the world, or the best, or perhaps the most nauseating, I forget the exact title.) We waited in line in the scorching south Texas heat for close to an hour. When we finally got to the covered depot, we waited some more time for the next train to roll in and empty itself of the last group of adventure seekers. My nephew, Scott, and I sat down in the first little car and the attendant, a college kid on a summer job, pulled the bar down in front of us till it clicked into place. Too close for me and not really as close as I thought it ought to be for Scott. We waited some more minutes for everyone else to get "clicked" into place behind us. Another college kid just ahead of us in a little booth pulled a lever and the cars jerked and began to move slowly out of the covered station. The car started its slow ascent along the upward flowing track. The cog device which pulled us straight toward the sun, was clanking rhythmically. Just when the train reached a point where we were staring into the sky and trying not to look into the sun, we realized there seemed to be nothing beneath us and we sucked in our breath and plunged downward. We were in a free fall, and I for one, left my stomach at the top. Everyone was screaming, and I said a word that my nephew later said he would tell his mother about. Then we were at the bottom and we were all laughing with relief. The ride continued with twists and turns so jarring that I began to suspect that chiropractors would be waiting on the off ramp to pass out their cards. The next thing we knew we were on one more "death defying" plunge and then suddenly we were pulling into the station where more thrill seekers were waiting. My nephew would have ridden again, if it hadn't been for the hour wait; and I pretended to want to do the same. It really was great fun, and it was over much quicker than expected.

Such has been my blogging experience. I don't even have 50 posts, yet I sense that I need to take a sabbatical from blogging. I don't mean to make this sound more serious than it really is, but I sense that I need to put the blog aside for a time. I intend to fast my blogging, if you will. I admit that there are times when I would rather blog than eat, or work, or anything else. It has become an addiction such as the blog bloke warns about. Check out his "10 Ways to Know if You are a Blogaholic." Don't worry he won't convict you to do as I am doing; my decision is strictly personal. (However, he may just show you how to create an excellent blog.) Anyway I may do some weekend blogging, or I may check on my favorite blogs, or I may do none of the above. I may become "celibate" for a season. I have not completely decided how much asceticism my spirit is in need of. It may be a week or two or three. But unless I really do have an epiphany, I will be back before Advent or the holidays begin.
.
.
Adieu ~ rachman
photo by Allyn Fratkin
.

Monday, October 23, 2006

funtwo - Canon Rock (Re-Synched)

Canon Rock

I don't usually get into posting videos, but my friend at Be Strong recommends this one. I finally got around to listening to it and I truly enjoyed it. So if I'm not the last one in the civilized world to hear it, then check it out for a great five minutes. After all five minutes at a time may be all we can ask for.
.
.
~ rachman
.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

It's Good to Be Young!

I admit it. I would have no poetry in my soul at all, if it were not for the fact that I'm a sucker for a poetic lover. Once they whisper those sweet "nothings" in my ear, I am doomed. They might as well put the ring in my nose for they can now lead me around wherever they want.

I think I suggested before that my first love won me over by whispering a Shakespearean sonnet under a summer moon. Actually it was a street lamp peering in from between the curtains, but it was summer all the same. We had strolled through the city park and the air was full of the fragrance of Magnolia blossoms. Well I assume this to be true, as my sinuses were stopped up, it was the south, and those big gaudy flowers were everywhere. It was my first time away from home and I was on my own. I had never been in love and I thought that it couldn't happen to me. I don't know why I thought this, except that I had always been a lonely soul of sorts with little expectation of love. We met in the park and started talking about the book I was reading. It was one of the "Lord of the Rings" books, but I don't remember which one. Today I would probably use something completely different for a pick up, but then, as we were at the "just out of college" age, it was perfect. We talked for hours and I couldn't imagine anyone being more fascinating, intelligent, or beautiful.

We noticed that the "shadows were growing long," and yes, we actually used that phrase, and knew that we couldn't waste much more time on talk. We had dinner together--okay, it was a cheap dinner--remember we were just out of college. But with every laugh, and every gesture, and every glance, which was no longer stolen but indulged, I became more mesmerized and had no clue as to why this time was different.

We spent that afternoon, that evening, and most of that night, together. Sometime during that night, between the pseudo-intellectual banter and the awkward and callow maneuvers of youthful love making, to my surprise, I thought and then said, "I think I love you." I was not new to the "aren't we the intelligent and worldly sophisticates" masquerade, nor to the youthful play of passion. There was something more. That added component that I didn't think I would ever know. There it was and I didn't know what to do with it. The next morning I was scheduled to leave and I did.

We pledged our love to each other, in the love letters we wrote for years, but saw one another only when my work took me back to that part of the country. Our lives were a thousand miles apart, but we thought we were one and we were inseparable. We thought our love would last through eternity. We were young.

During this time, on the eve of one of our separations, we shared this farewell, this valediction:

.A VALEDICTION FORBIDDING MOURNING.

~ by John Donne

As virtuous men pass mildly away,

And whisper to their souls to go,

Whilst some of their sad friends do say,

"The breath goes now," and some say, "no."

So let us melt, and make no noise,

No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move;

T'were profanation of our joys

To tell the laity our love.

Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears;

Men reckon what it did, and meant;

But trepidation of the spheres,

Though greater far, is innocent.

Dull sublunary lovers love

(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit

Of absence, because it doth remove

Those things which elemented it.

But we by a love, so much refined.

That ourselves know not what it is,

Inter-assured of the mind,

Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.

Our two souls therefore, which are one,

Though I must go, endure not yet

A breach, but an expansion,

Like gold to aery thinness beat.

If they be two, they are two so

As stiff twin compasses are two;

Thy soul the fix'd foot, makes no show

To move, but doth, if th' other do.

And though it in the center sit,

Yet, when the other far doth roam,

It leans, and hearkens after it,

And grows erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must

Like th' other foot, obliquely run;

Thy firmness draws my circle just,

And makes me end, where I begun.

It's good to be young ~ rachman

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Perchance to Dream

In the movie, "Field of Dreams," an Iowan farmer plows his cornfield over and builds a baseball field. Eventually his dream of being reconciled with his father is fulfilled because he listens to the voice which guides him. The theology involved in this movie was so wacky that I never really thought too highly of the movie. But as I relaxed a little, took a look at the overall story line, and remembered that it was only a movie after all, only then did I begin to enjoy it.

We all have a field of dreams. A place where we plant seeds of imagination and let them grow. Depending on your theology, perhaps it is a place where seeds are planted for us to discover and then for us to nurture them into reality. We cannot overestimate the power of dreams in our existence. These dreams bring about medical breakthroughs as well as athletic and artistic achievements. They create nations and set races of people free from slavery. Everyone has dreams, and a field of dreams in which to grow them, but many of us have lost sight of these dreams because of the cares of life.

Even God has a field of dreams. It's not in Iowa, but in the hearts of humankind. In the hearts turned toward Him. It's a dream of being one with humankind once more. As it was when He walked with us and talked with us in the cool of the day. How can we know if a dream comes from God?

A God-given dream will stir our passion.
A God-given dream will be impossible without Him.
A God-given dream makes an impression on us for life.
A God-given dream will cause us to exercise strong faith.
The enemy will fight a God-given dream.

Fight for your dream. If you don't remember it, then search your heart and mind to get in touch with the dream which God has put inside you. Ask Him to show it to you. Then take action.

Ancient wisdom says, "This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed." (Habakkuk 2:3 ~ NLT)

Pleasant Dreams ~ rachman

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Lovely, Lonely Leaves of Autumn

I'm a very visual person and since I haven't had much to say lately, I thought it best to share some of the beauty of the season from my two favorite photo sites on the WWW. The one above is by Ian Britton from FreeFoto.com.

This beautiful and fascinating photo is by David Johns at Dave's Pics. Mr. Johns works around Anchorage, Alaska, and has done some beautiful work.

And when I think of lonely, fluttering leaves, I think of Thomas Wolfe's lonely, lovely Look Homeward, Angel:

...a stone, a leaf, an unfound door; of a stone, a leaf, a door. And of all the forgotten faces.

Naked and alone we came into exile. In her dark womb we did not know our mother's face; from the prison of her flesh have we come into the unspeakable and incommunicable prison of this earth.

Which of us has known his brother? Which of us has looked into his father's heart? Which of us has not remained forever prison-pent? Which of us is not forever a stranger and alone?

O waste of loss, in the hot mazes, lost, among bright stars on this most weary unbright cinder, lost! Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again.

Poor Mr. Wolfe must have been a lonely soul and I know many can identify with his lyrical thoughts. I did once, but thank god not any more. “ My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.” (Psalm 62:1) Yes, thank you, Father God, for the opportunity to be fully known and to know both You and others You have brought into my life.

After that lovely but lonely passage, I need one more beautiful photo to remember the wonder of the season. Again by Mr. Britton.

Have an awesome autumn while it's here. But don't blink, for it's gone in an instant.

~ rachman

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Cat & Mouse?

Here's the thing. I'm looking for a job. I have a job, but it is not even paying all the bills. It did once, but time moves on and neither this job nor I have been moving anywhere. I lived in denial about the situation for a good while, but I can no longer ignore the facts.

I've had two interviews this week and another one is scheduled for monday morning. I blew an interview I had a few months ago, so I've been honing my answers to some likely interview questions, which I came across on Monster.Com. Sound contrived and really insincere? Of course it is. But then if you haven't been in a job interview lately, some of those questions they come up with are neither real nor sincere:

Q: Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball?
A: You have got to be kidding.

Q: There's no right or wrong answer, but..?
A: Regardless of the question, this is the biggest lie they could tell. Of course there is a right answer or they would not have asked it.

Q: How would you feel working for someone who knows less than you?
A: Do not comment on the fact that all your bosses have been idiots.

Q: If you were an animal which one would you want to be?
A: You have to decide based on the industry you're entering as to what they are looking for: a piranha or a guppy.

Q: How do you think I rate as an interviewer?
A: (Keep thinking: I will not laugh; I will not giggle. I will not laugh...)

Q: What's your ideal company?
A: Even if it really is the company which pays the most for the least, come up with something else.

Q: What are you most proud of?
A: Forget the sexual exploits for now. It must be something ethical and if at all possible altruistic!

Q: What do you like to do?
A: See above.

Q: What are your lifelong dreams?
A: See above!

Q: Do you have plans to have children in the near future?
A: I didn't plan on the kids from the distant past.

The questions can go on and on, ad nauseam. It can be a bit like a cat and mouse game. I suppose it is the hurdle we have to go over to get to the job we're looking for. It's what has taken up a lot of my blogging time this last week. It's been an intense week, but the weeks are getting better. My destiny awaits.

~ rachman
.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Awesome Autumn!

I try not to use the word "awesome" as much as is popular these days. A friend of mine is always saying, "that was awesome." It was actually just a joke I had told; okay it was a very good joke, but nothing more. I know that our use of language is always changing, so I try to remember not to get too "uptight" about the things I see or hear. "Awesome" is one of the few words left, however which I know, that describes things which can make me feel reverence, fear, inspiration, wonder, astonishment, or admiration. Awesome things can take me aback, or leave me thunderstruck.

Thus I try to leave the word "awesome" for very special occasions. (I don't usually say "thus" either, but saying "awesome" makes me feel biblical.) Also I know that many people feel as I do, in that the "fall" of the year is the best time of year. After all it's harvest time. It's my favorite time. So let me say, "plentiful harvest to all, and to all, have an awesome autumn!"

~ rachman
.